Eggs Don't Ripen
by Lord Raa
Summary: Nodoka attempts to fix some of Ranma’s problems. But when you say plans and Ranma in the same sentence...


Eggs Don't Ripen

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: I'm in a band, show me your hooters.

* * *

Part 1

* * *

Nodoka Saotome sat staring at the koi pond in the Tendo garden. The copper haired woman was in deep thought about what to do with her son.

'I wanted my son to be a man amongst men, and while he is manly, I don't think he quite fits the bill. If only there was a way I could re-educate him,' the woman sighed. A thought occurred to her. 'Oh, that might just work…'

"Would you like some tea, Auntie Nodoka?" Kasumi asked from the doorway.

"Hmm, oh, it's you Kasumi-chan. Yes please, would you mind sitting with me while we have a talk?"

"Certainly, Auntie," the brunette smiled.

Moments later, the shapely pair of ladies was sipping their tea when Nodoka finally decided to asked the question that was the key to her plan.

"Kasumi-chan, do you recall any of the details of those mushrooms that turned my son into a child?"

"Some of them, I believe Ryoga-kun found them originally. Why do you ask?" Kasumi enquired.

"I was thinking about Ranma, and well, it's not that I'm ashamed or disappointed with him, it's just that I want correct some of the things he learned with his father," the woman in the kimono sighed softly. "And it's these mushrooms that would give me a chance to do that."

"Oh, I see," Kasumi nodded in understanding. "Well, now that you mention it, I think that Nabiki kept one or two. 'Just in case of emergencies' was the term she used."

"Is she in at the moment, I'd like to see arrange something as soon as possible."

"But what about Akane's engagement to Ranma-kun?" the brunette in the housedress asked, concerned about the loss of face for the two clans.

Nodoka winced slightly before giving her answer. "Having spent some time with both Ranma and Akane, I've come to the conclusion that they're not really suited to each other, Kasumi-chan. Please don't misunderstand me, Akane is a sweet girl, but she needs someone who's more supportive and less competitive than my son. She needs a man among men, not my manly son."

When the Saotome matriarch saw that Kasumi wasn't quite sure what to say in response to that, she added her evidence.

"If Ranma was a true man among men, you wouldn't have passed on the engagement, would you?"

"No," the eldest Tendo daughter admitted in a small voice.

"Will you help me, Kasumi? I know I'm being a bit selfish, but I want what's best for Ranma."

"Ok, Auntie Nodoka, I'll have a word with Nabiki to see if she still has what we need."

* * *

Nabiki was somewhat surprised to see that Ranma's mother and her sister wanted to negotiate a deal.

"And on the assumption that I have what you need, what's in it for me?" she asked.

"I don't expect something for nothing, Nabiki-chan," Nodoka smiled. "But I'm not sure that your first choice of college would appreciate one of their students being involved in illicit photography."

The short haired Tendo didn't even bat an eyelid. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Auntie Nodoka."

"Oh, so it seems that you weren't the person who took this photograph of my son's cursed form?" the copper haired woman asked holding up a cheesecake shot of Ranma-chan in the Tendo garden.

"I'd like to point out that the Kunos have a personal ninja. But I'll help you out, since you asked SO nicely," Nabiki replied icily.

"Of course, you'll be appropriately compensated. I think that 30,000 yen should be as suitable starting point for our negotiations, don't you?" Nodoka smiled.

"Well, shall we discuss your plan before we talk about the appropriate remuneration?"

* * *

Later that evening, Ranma strolled into the kitchen looking for something to eat.

"Oh, hi Mom, hi Kasumi. What're you cooking?"

"Oh, just something that should help you with your problems, son," Nodoka smiled pleasantly.

"Sweet! Let's have it!" the pigtailed youth snatched the morsel his mother held in her hand, swallowing half of it in one go.

"Ranma, that's rather ill-mannered of you," Kasumi chided.

"I'm sorry, Kasumi, did you want some too?" Ranma asked, flicking the remaining piece directly into her mouth.

"Oh my," the brunette said as her and Ranma's world started to grow.

"What? Not again!" the now increasingly young Saotome sighed. "Mom, you have to find some more of these mushrooms and grow them to a height of at least 16 centimetres. The sooner the better."

"But that was the last one, son," Nodoka said in an apologetic tone. "I'm sorry but you and Kasumi are going to have another childhood."

"Fantastic," the apparently four year old boy muttered sarcastically. "Now what are we going to do?"

"RAANNMMAA!" an angry chorus demanded from the doorway to the kitchen.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER?" Soun demanded.

"You idiot! You contaminated Kasumi with your weirdness!" Akane huffed.

"Saotome, you do realise that you have screwed up royally here. I have no idea where Ryoga got those mushrooms, so you had better get searching. Fast!" Nabiki growled.

Genma-panda's sign read "Who will cook the meals now!"

Nodoka coughed politely to get everyone's attention. "Since Ranma and Kasumi are now stuck like this for the next 12 years or so, I think that it would be better for them if I raised them in a different environment. No disrespect intended, Soun-kun, but I don't think this is best place to raise two young children. Especially since one of them did all the chores."

"But you could stay here and teach Akane and Nabiki how to cook and clean," the moustachioed man offered.

"I'm sorry Soun-kun, but I don't think that would be a good idea," the copper haired woman apologised. "My son's rivals might take advantage of his condition and hurt him. Besides, I think this would be the perfect opportunity to correct a few of the bad habits Ranma picked up from his father."

All eyes turned to the panda that was unsuccessfully trying to slink off.

* * *

Nodoka carried a bag of clothes for Kasumi while Ranma carried his own meagre possessions.

"I'm sorry about his, Kasumi, I didn't want you to get involved in this mess," the raven haired boy apologised.

"That's alright, Ranma-kun, I know it was an accident," Kasumi smiled as they prepared to leave for their new home.

"Now then you two, I want you to stay close to me until we get to our destination in Kyoto," Nodoka instructed her charges. "I know that you know martial arts, son, but you're not the man you were yesterday."

Ranma's eye twitched when he remembered that it was his mother's fault that things had changed for him.

"Right then, let's head out for the station," the kimono clad woman smiled as she held out her hands for Kasumi and Ranma to hold.

* * *

Two hours later, the trio arrived at Kyoto station with Nodoka smiling as her son and friend yawned. "Now then, we need to take a comfort break before heading off to the Aoyama Dojo."

"Ok, Mom," Ranma nodded, grateful that he would still have the opportunity to keep up his studies in the art.

"Yes, please lead the way, Auntie Nodoka," Kasumi said with crossed legs and a forced smile.

* * *

The Saotomes and Kasumi approached a rather ornate gate with a sign above it that bore the name "Aoyama Dojo".

The pigtailed youth looked suitably impressed with the dojo and the grounds that surrounded it.

"Nice place."

"I'm glad that you think so, young man," said a stern female voice from behind him.

Ranma spun round and fell into a defensive stance. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tsukiko Aoyama, and I'm grandmaster of the Shinmeiryu style," the raven haired beauty replied, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "Who wants to know?"

"Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes," the young male said with pride.

"Saotome eh, then that would make you Nodoka Saotome? Apparently, we're expecting you."

"I'm here to speak with your sister," Nodoka bowed politely.

"Ah yes," a new female voice was added to the conversation. "It's been a while, hasn't it, Nodoka. What brings you to Kyoto?"

"Kikuko-sempai," the copper haired woman smiled brightly. "I need your help with my son."

The newly arrived Aoyama looked at Ranma with interest. "I thought your son was older."

"Yes, well something happened. Perhaps we could talk inside?" Nodoka asked. "I do have a somewhat unusual request."

* * *

Inside the office, Kikuko Aoyama sat opposite her former kouhai. The raven haired kendoist was curious as to what her visitor wanted.

"I thought you got married and had a son over a decade ago, Nodoka."

"I did. Unfortunately, the man I married tricked me into letting him take Ranma on a training trip for the last ten years. It was during that time my son picked up several bad habits. One of which is an inability to think before speaking or acting," Nodoka answered with an embarrassed voice.

"And just how is he a child now?" Kikuko asked sceptically.

"Well, my son has led an interesting life," Mrs. Saotome replied before explaining some of what Ranma had gone through.

* * *

Elsewhere in the Aoyama compound, Ranma was alerted to the presence of a small child.

"Shush, Motoko-chan," a girl of seven said as she gently rocked the pram that held her baby sister.

Ranma, not one able to deal with a crying girl, walked over to the Aoyama sisters. "Hi."

"Hello," Tsuruko greeted. She was about to add something about her being busy, but Motoko stopped crying. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" the pigtailed youth asked.

"You managed to get Motoko-chan to calm down and go to sleep," the raven haired girl said with no small amount of relief in her voice. "I didn't know what the problem was: she was just changed and fed."

Ranma shrugged. "I'm Ranma Saotome, by the way."

"I'm Tsuruko Aoyama, and this is my sister, Motoko," Tsuruko bowed, still marvelling at the way the young boy had managed to get the baby to sleep just by saying "hi".

"I'm here to train at the dojo," the blue eyed child added.

"Aren't you a bit young to be training, Ranma-kun?"

"Ranma is a special case," Kikuko Aoyama said as she exited from her office with Nodoka. "He will begin training tomorrow. We have high expectations for you, Ranma-kun."

"I won't let you down," Ranma declared. "I will be the best student you ever trained."

* * *

That evening, as Ranma washed herself as best she could with her short arms, the door to the bathroom opened to reveal Nodoka.

"Hello son, I wanted to see how you were handling this new plan of action," the copper haired woman said with a smile.

"I'd be doing better if I weren't a child!" the petite redhead huffed angrily.

"I'm sorry son, but it was the only way to help you solve your problems without anyone losing face," Nodoka explained.

"Yeah, well, it still doesn't mean that I have to like it. If you really wanted to help me, you coulda found a cure for my curse."

"I know so, I know," the Saotome matriarch said as she hugged her son turned daughter. "But perhaps by the time you grow up again, Jusenkyo will be able to offer you a cure."

"Maybe," Ranma said sadly.

"Personally, I think this is a wonderful chance to make you into a true man among men."

The four year old froze. "What? I thought you declared me manly!"

Nodoka winced. "I did. However, don't you think that your father left a few gaps in your knowledge? Like how to deal with people who aren't martial artists?"

Ranma deflated. "Yeah, I s'pose so."

"I'm sorry that I had to trick you into this, and I'm sorry that Kasumi got involved, but don't you think she deserves and opportunity to have a life outside of caring for her family?" Ranma's mother asked honestly.

"Yeah, she does. What's she gonna do when she grows up?"

"I don't know son, I don't think she's decided. Anyway, let's finish up here and get you to bed, you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

* * *

"Mother," Tsuruko Aoyama started, "why is that young boy training here?"

Kikuko Aoyama sat her tea down on the kotetsu before her. "His mother is an old friend of mine, and I owe her a favour. I'm told that he'll bring great honour to the Shinmeiryu School. Besides, he did manage to get Motoko-chan to settle down."

"You're not thinking of an arranged marriage, are you sister?" Tsukiko asked slyly.

The elder sister shook her head. "No, I mean, we have no idea what Ranma-kun's like as a person. He is cursed you know."

"C-cursed?" a horrified Tsuruko asked.

"Yes, according to his mother, he turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, while hot water changes him back. Apparently it's caused him some serious trouble back in Nerima," Kikuko explained.

"I can only imagine what sort of problems that would cause for a person," Tsukiko offered her opinion. "Perhaps he'll be able to adjust to it properly in a more balanced environment. I've heard stories about Nerima and its martial artists. There are some skilled warriors there, but most of them lack the discipline of the Shinmeiryu style."

"One can only hope, Tsukiko-sempai," Nodoka agreed from the doorway. "My apologies for intruding like this."

"How are the little ones?" Kikuko asked after sipping her tea.

"Ranma and Kasumi are now asleep. They've had a long day, and tomorrow won't be any easier for my son," the copper haired woman said as she took the offered place at the table.

"Is it true that there are powerful martial artists in Nerima, Auntie Nodoka?" Tsuruko asked intrigued by the potential for challenges.

"Yes, but I fear that you are not yet in their league, Tsuruko-chan," Mrs. Saotome answered.

"Most of them have been training since before you were born," Mrs. Aoyama explained, hoping to save her daughter's feelings.

"Yes, but then again, there was that 'Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School'," Tsukiko added. "He talked a good game, but he failed to live up to his own hype when he challenged the dojo last week."

"Tatewaki Kuno?" Nodoka asked with a sinking feeling.

"You know him?" asked Kikuko as she refilled the teacups.

The copper haired Saotome sighed. "He considers my son to be his great nemesis."

"Wait," Tsukiko held up a hand, "does that mean your son is 'the foul sorcerer Saotome' who 'enslaved the beauteous Akane Tendo and the mysterious Pigtailed Girl'?"

"Yes, it's a long story that I'd rather that too many people didn't know about," Nodoka sighed. "I don't think that Tsuruko-chan is ready for the whole story."

"I have to agree with you, Nodoka," Kikuko nodded. "Tsuruko, I think that it's time for you to go to bed. Tomorrow, you spar unarmed with Ranma-kun."

"Yes Mother," the girl bowed before leaving for her bed. 'Maybe I can get Ranma or Kasumi to tell me the story?'

After the Aoyama heir left the room, Nodoka repositioned herself on the cushion. "Get yourselves comfortable, this is a long story. It starts off over ten years ago."

"But your son looks only four years old…" Tsukiko interrupted.

"Like I said, this is a long story, and even I don't have all the details."

* * *

To be continued.

Well, this was pre-read by Chi Vayne as ever. One day he will tire of my attempts at writing, but until then, he will continue to suffer just like you!

Just to clarify things, this is set after the failed wedding for the Ranma parts and obviously pre-Hinata Inn for the Love Hina parts.

No, I haven't yet decided on the match-up. However, I will make that decision before chapter 4 is posted.

Rest assured that it will not be RanmaxShinobu or RanmaxKaolla.

Until laterer comes…


End file.
